For the pattern that follows you

Different people. Same ending. Every time.

You keep choosing what feels familiar. These three books show you where familiar came from, and how to change what feels like home.

Get the bundle · $49 Or start with the $7 map

Bought separately: ~~$59.97~~. You save $10.97.

Instant PDF downloadRead it tonight on your phone365-day money-back promise

Kitten illustration for the Heal Your Past bundle

Old patterns, new faces

New job, new partner, new city, and somehow the same feeling. Afraid of being too much. Working hard to keep everyone happy. Having the old argument in a different kitchen.

Patterns like that start somewhere. Once you can see where, you get to decide whether they come with you.

What you get

Books II, IV and VII

Book II

Origins and Influences

Where your patterns came from: childhood, attachment, trauma and sensitivity.

$19.99 on its own

Book IV

Understanding Your Inner World

What to do with the feelings they left behind, including grief, anger and shame.

$19.99 on its own

Book VII

Relationships and Community

The same patterns in the present tense: love, boundaries, people-pleasing and parenting.

$19.99 on its own

Why three, not one

A pattern you only understand in the past keeps running in the present. So the first book goes back to where it started, the second deals with the feelings it left, and the third follows it into how you love, set boundaries and parent today.

Sound familiar?

The love quiz in the morning paper

The one who texts back every time feels boring. The one who disappears for three days and comes back with a voice note at midnight feels like electricity. You know which one is good for you. Your body keeps choosing the other.

In 1987 the psychologists Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver printed a love quiz in a Denver newspaper, and hundreds of readers mailed in answers about the most important romance of their lives. The attachment patterns researchers had seen in babies, secure, anxious and avoidant, showed up again in grown-ups in love, in roughly the same proportions.

The anxious pattern feels the most like passion, because unpredictable attention keeps your reward system spiking. If you learned love in an unpredictable house, safe can register as nothing at all. That pattern was learned, and learned patterns can be relearned.

Heal Your Past is for the pattern that keeps finding you in new people, and for the part of you that’s ready to stop answering it.

Get the bundle · $49

A few months from now

The next time someone goes quiet

Someone new goes quiet and you don’t spiral, because you know whose silence you’re hearing. The old anger flares, you name it, and it passes. With your kids, you catch yourself about to say the thing you swore you’d never say, and you don’t.

Get the bundle · $49

This bundle is for you if

You keep meeting the same parent in different people.
You learned early that your feelings were too much.
You want to stop passing it on.
You’re ready to look back once, properly, so you can stop looking back.

Start tonight

Heal Your Past

$49 ~~$59.97~~

Book II: Origins and Influences
Book IV: Understanding Your Inner World
Book VII: Relationships and Community
PDF, ready the moment you pay

Get the bundle

365-day money-back promise. Read it for a year. If it didn’t help, you get every cent back. No questions asked.

Not sure where to start?

Find out where you are first. It’s $7.

From Survival to Feeling Safe maps the way out of survival mode in four stages, with the signs for each. Find your stage first, and you’ll know which book you need next, if you need one at all.

Get the map · $7 Not ready? Read a chapter free

Want all eight books? The complete set is $127, with the workbook and the $7 guide included.

You can’t lose here

Read it for a whole year.

Change takes longer than a refund window usually allows, so ours is a year long. If at any point in the next 365 days you decide it didn’t help, email us at contact email and we’ll refund you in full. You don’t have to explain.

We’d rather you take a year to decide than not start at all.

Still wondering?

Can I buy the books one at a time instead?

Yes. Every book is sold on its own as well. The bundle is the better deal if you want all of them.

What exactly do I get?

A PDF you can download the moment you pay. Read it on your phone, tablet, laptop or e-reader, or print it at home. Bundles and the complete set include every book in them.

When does it arrive?

Immediately. Payhip shows you the download link on screen and emails it to you as well.

Do I have to read the books in order?

No. Each book works on its own, so start wherever it hurts most.

What if it doesn’t help?

You get your money back. You have 365 days: email us at contact email and we’ll refund you in full. No questions asked.

Is this only for women?

No. A nervous system is a nervous system. The examples lean toward the women we hear from most, and Book VI ends with a chapter on women’s hormonal health, but the rest applies to anyone with a body and a past.

Is this therapy?

No. It explains what’s going on inside you, so that everything else you try, therapy included, has something solid to stand on. If you’re in therapy already, bring it to your next session. If you’re struggling badly, please talk to a professional too.

These books are education, written to help you understand yourself. They don’t replace a doctor, therapist or crisis line. If you’re in danger or thinking about harming yourself, please contact your local emergency number or a crisis line right now.